Chapter 43

Paris's air felt lighter and more liberated, as though the city itself was asking us to release the burden we had been bearing. Everything seemed to come together when we got to the hotel. The gentle glow of the Parisian lights filled the city with warmth, and the streets were alive with the rhythm of the evening.

With its classic French architecture and wrought-iron balconies overlooking the busy streets, our hotel was every bit as opulent as I had dreamed. We were shown to our room on one of the upper stories by a well-dressed concierge, who was brought inside by Ethan. I was astounded by the place's magnificence as soon as we walked in.

Floor-to-ceiling windows with thick curtains, soft cream-colored walls, and a distant view of the Eiffel Tower glistening. The perfection was too great. A place that seemed so different from the chaos we had left behind.

I stood close to the door, sensing the tension between us since the day we left New York, while Ethan strolled to the window, his gaze sweeping the city below. We hadn't discussed the kiss. Unspoken yet heavy, it still hung in the air.

I said, "I'm going to change," as I picked up my suitcase and made my way to the restroom. I required some alone time to collect my thoughts. Everything was weighing down on me: the secrets, the strain, our complex relationship.

After entering the restroom, I inhaled deeply and gazed at my reflection in the mirror. I felt as conflicted as my mirror did. I attempted to stabilize myself as I hurriedly changed into a basic black dress that I had packed for meals like this one.

However, the air in the room changed once more as soon as I left the restroom. Ethan remained near the window, but as soon as I showed up, his gaze shifted to me. His focused stare lingered a bit too long.

"All set?" Despite my racing heart, I tried to seem nonchalant as I asked.

Even though Ethan's eyes grew softer, I could still sense the strain in his face. "All right, let's go."

Tucked away on a quiet street, the place Ethan had selected for dinner was a small café with cozy tables and low lighting. It was the type of location where you could lose yourself in the present and forget about the outer world for a few hours.

The candlelight flickered between us as we sat at a corner table. Ethan's eyes were on me, but I tried to hide them by acting as though I was preoccupied with the menu. In all honesty, I had lost my sense of how to behave around him. Our relationship had changed and grown closer in ways I wasn't sure either of us was prepared to acknowledge.

We chatted casually during dinner, discussing topics like the food and Paris, but there was a tension in every word that neither of us could ignore. I could still feel the spark between us every time our hands touched or our eyes locked, and I could still remember the kiss we'd shared back in New York.

However, it went beyond that. Something else was there, something I couldn't quite identify. Something was being withheld from me by Ethan. I could feel the weight of it between us, even if I wasn't sure what it was yet.

The discussion became a little easier as we finished supper and the wine relaxed our tongues. Even still, something remained unsaid.

As I swirled the remaining wine in my glass, I remarked, "I'm glad we came here."

Although it didn't quite reach his eyes, Ethan grinned. "Yeah. It's a nice diversion from everything."

Neither of us was eager to leave, so we stayed a little while longer. But after a while, with the streets becoming more peaceful as the night went on, we returned to the hotel. Although the return trip was uneventful, the tension between us had returned and was getting worse with each step.

I kicked off my heels and perched on the edge of the bed in the hotel room, letting the events of the day wash over me. Ethan put his jacket down and undid his tie, and he was abnormally silent.

I observed him for a while, noting how his hands flexed and his shoulders stiffened as though he was trying to solve a mental puzzle. I became aware of how little I knew about him at that point. Regarding the things he concealed behind that skillfully constructed façade.

"Ethan," I said, breaking the stillness with my voice.

His face was unreadable when he looked up at me.

With the weight of my words, I said, "I don't know much about your life before all of this. Even after everything we've been through, I still don't truly know you. Not the real you."

I briefly believed he was going to sidestep me, dismiss me as he normally did. However, as he sat down next to me on the bed, he exhaled deeply and his shoulders drooped a little.

He said in a low voice, "There's a lot you don't know. I don't even know how to explain it, and it's not because I don't want to tell you."

I waited, allowing him the room he required to proceed.

After a lengthy pause, he continued, "I've tried my entire life to be what my father wanted me to be. He had a vision of who I was meant to be and what I was meant to accomplish. And I made a long-term effort to live up to that. I was never good enough, though."

I could hear the frustration that had been building for years, the bitterness in his voice.

"I have always done everything for him. for the business. But, Emily, that's not who I am. It has never been."

I was at a loss for words. Ethan had always struck me as a strong, self-assured man, but as I sat here, I understood how much he had been concealing. How much weight he had been bearing by himself.

I gently reached out to touch Ethan's hand and murmured, "You don't have to be your father. You are free to be who you are. You are not required to walk in his footsteps."

His countenance was troubled as he gazed down at our hands. "It's not that easy."

"Why not?"

He took a while to respond. Rather, he gave me a really close look, as though he had never seen me before. We were silent for a long time, but it wasn't awkward. It was electric, charged.

His voice was hardly audible above a whisper as he eventually stated, "I don't want to drag you into my mess."

I gave a headshake. "I'm not being pulled into anything by you. Because I want to be, I'm here. alongside you."

For a brief time, I thought he was about to pull away as his eyes flickered with something I couldn't quite place. Suddenly, though, he leaned closer.