Chapter 54

"How long until you have to leave?" I ask Damion, my throat tight with worry.

Tonight. I know he needs to leave tonight, but I can't seem to wrap my head around it.

On our walk back to his room together, Damion had explained that the group of shifters who had been attacked reportedly took down the group of Unseelie soldiers quickly and without shifter casualties. *Thankfully*. The last thing I want is for any of the shifters to die because I ran out on my agreed upon wedding with the Unseelie Prince.

According to the report he had been given, another larger group of Unseelie had been spotted approaching the eastern side of the shifter's borders as well. Only a few days ride from their borders. For a group that large, they weren't far at all. The shifters wouldn't lead a retaliating attack against the Unseelie without instruction from their commanding King.

"They're expecting another attack any day now," Damion says, a ruminative expression on his face as he works his way around his room to gather his riding bag. Regret flashes in his dark eyes for a moment when he looks my way, "I need to be there to strategize with my generals about the best course of action in response to their initial attack."

Before we left the dining area, Damion had sent Xavier and Arden ahead to meet up with the shifter messenger that was waiting outside the gates for the King's response. That he would be up there to return with the guard to their borders after he grabbed his things.

I watch as he does one last sweep of his room for anything he may have forgotten as he puts together his rucksack from the long ride here. We haven't been in Elfhame long enough for Damion to have had time to unpack much, so he makes quick work of it. He manages to get everything back in its place in one efficient sweep of his room.

In spite my best efforts to remain calm through all this, fear slices through me at the thought of being separated from him. Somehow, against my better judgement, I've been associating the feeling of safety to being with *him* -with this dark and brooding shifter king - for long enough that the idea of being apart makes my world feel like its suddenly tilting on its axis.

I push down my distress and force myself to ask the question that's been haunting me since Damion had read the contents of that letter, "The Unseelie are attacking you because of me, aren't they?" I ask him in a low voice.

He freezes where he's throwing a stack of maps back into his leather sack, to turn and face me, "It's possible that they've discovered that their men disappeared on our lands, but even if they did, it would only be one of many reasons for them to attack our borders."

He takes a steady, assured step toward me and brings his warm hand to cup my chin. He tugs up gently until my gaze clashes with his, "These attacks aren't your fault, Lily. We've dealt with countless strikes against our people from them before. Always over petty things. They look for any reason to launch attacks against us."

"If anything happens to you because of me-" I start, my voice comes out strained with my anxiety. My worry over him making nausea burn through me.

Moving his large hands so they rest on my shoulders, he bends down to better meet my eye. His dark gaze is something that even churning with worry the way I am, they make my heart stutter in my chest. The sharp lines of his face turn serious, earnest, "Lily, I promise you that these attacks aren't your fault. *None* of it is your fault. The last thing I want you to do is worry about me while I'm gone. The only thing I want you focused on is re-gaining your strength and getting healthy."

He reaches up to stroke his thumb across my cheek, his long callused finger gentle, as if I'm something precious,"The Unseelie armies are untrained and clumsy-always relying on brute strength rather than skill. You saw how easily we were able to dispatch them that day on our borders. It will be taken care of within a few days easily. I only wish I didn't need to leave you, but I'll get this taken care of and come back to you as quickly as I possibly can."

"I can come with with you-" I start, but he stops that thought with a gentle but firm shake of his head.

"We don't know what sort of consequences it would have on your health if you leave Elfhame before your strength has the chance to build up. Arden and Xavier will stay with you and make sure you're taken care of until I can return."

I know Damion's people need him right now and while the idea of being left behind leaves my chest strained with worry, I refuse to be the reason that his people don't get the guidance they need from their King when they need it most. I shove that gnawing worry and discomfort as far down as I can so that he can do his job as their leader. To make it as easy on him as I can.

"Everything is going to be fine," he tells me, "*You're going to be fine.*" It sounds like he says that last part in an attempt to convince himself as much as he's working to convince me. He pulls me into his chest, his arms wrapping around me in an embrace. I breathe in the now familiar scent of him, committing it to memory. The calming scent of mountain air and pine that constantly seems to cling to him.

"I'll come back to you as soon as I'm able to," he promises me again, his lips pressing to my temple and I close my eyes drinking in as much of him as I can. When he pulls back from me, I notice the dark circles appearing like larger heavy bruises beneath his eyes. Anxiety gnaws at me again at the reminder that he hasn't slept in *days*. That what he needs more than anything is rest, but he's riding off to save someone else. Again.

"Try to stop and get some sleep soon," I say, reaching up to gently trace those dark circles with the tip of my finger.

The tired lines around his eyes soften at the gesture, "You too. Promise me that you'll be safe."

I snort, "*I'm* not the one rushing off into danger."

He growls low in his throat, "Promise me, Lily."

"I promise."

He leans in to give me one last scorching kiss that lingers long after he pulls away, taking the time to get me settled into his bed to rest before he leaves.

From beneath the covers, I watch him go, re-checking the locks on the door behind him as he leaves. With a tight feeling in my chest that fights against the sight of his disappearing form, I push down the irrational urge to run after him, and attempt to settle into the pillows of the bed that still smells subtly like him after our afternoon here together.

But even as I close my eyes, searching for sleep, I can't get rid of the sinking feeling of suspicion that these attacks really are only the beginning of something much bigger. Only scratching the surface of what's to come.