Chapter 56

"Withdrawal?" I ask, confused. I've heard of withdrawals before, but typically in a much different context. I've heard some of the healers mention it in passing in the Seelie healer's wing in regards to patients experiencing pain from discontinuing their stringent use of faerie wine or something like that. Never in this context before though.

Alerie nods, taking up a slow walk up the wooded path and I follow along beside her, "It's to be expected between Bonded couples," she explains, "You may start to feel an emptiness from having him separated from you. That emptiness comes from your energies being cut off from one another. According to our records, I'm told that it feels like a missing limb that grows more painful the longer you're apart. If you aren't already, you may experience something like that soon."

*Missing limbs. Aching*. My face scrunches in a grimace as I walk behind her. What she was describing sounded like what I'd felt first thing this morning when I'd woken up and remembered that Damion had left. I'd attributed it to crashing after the boost of energy I'd gotten yesterday, but maybe it hadn't been that after all.

"I started feeling an ache in my chest earlier this morning," I admit, carefully watching my feet so I don't trip over a stray root or a rock by accident. Was that feeling actually the withdrawals she was talking about?

"Let me know if it gets worse for any reason so we can adjust what we're doing and find something else to help. Being in the springs should reduce your symptoms, along with lots of rest. Though I'm told that unfortunately there's not much that the shifter in a bonded pair can do in order to stave off any of the withdrawal symptoms."

That makes me pause in my footsteps to look over at her, "Damion's feeling it too?"

The elven woman nods, "It's better if the two of you don't separate for too long if you can help it."

The idea that he's on the borders fighting against Unseelie soldiers is enough to send anxiety rippling through me. But when I added in the fact that he may be doing that fighting in *pain* only makes my worry escalate.

I hope it's not as bad for him as Aelrie seems to think it will be.

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"You've been jumpy all morning," I note as I look over my guards who sit staunchly at our table in the dining hall. Xavier's been more tense than I've seen him for a while--the difference is almost startling. He tenses as anyone approaches, hand constantly at the ready on the hilt of his weapon. Arden's not quite so bad, but there is a level of tension in her eyes as she tracks the people and shadows around us as if memorizing every face in the room

"Is it because you're worried about what's happening at the borders?" I ask. Did Damion downplay the danger of what was happening out there in order to appease my own anxiety about him leaving?

At my question, Xavier blinks over at me in surprise, "Am I worried about what's happening at the border?" He scoffs, "Gods, no. The only thing I'm currently worried about is making sure that you get back to Damion in one piece and nothing happens to you on our watch."

I look around in search of any danger they seem to be so on guard for, "I thought we were safe behind the walls," I say, eyes darting between them expectantly, voice lowering, "I thought the shifters and elves were allies. You don't think someone's going to attack us, do you?"

"We *are* allies," Arden assures me, with a quick smile that doesn't reach her eyes, "And I don't believe we have anything to worry about from them. But it's better to be more careful than not. Let's just say the King made it very clear that you're not to have a single scratch on you."

I blink up at them shock simmering through me, "He threatened you?" I feel my eyes tighten with concern for these two shifter guards who I had quickly considered my friends.

Arden waves off my concern, "Don't worry, he didn't threaten us. It was just the general alpha-y aura he was giving off. Let's just say that he was in a *very*.aggressively protective mood when he left last night. We've never seen him get like this before, so we're taking it upon ourselves to be more safety conscious over you than normal."

Ah. *General alpha-y aura. They were talking about the shifter thing Arden had brought up last night at dinner. The thing where Damion could supposedly send out warnings to other shifters.

I know I shouldn't, but I'm left with an irrational warm tingly sensation that works its way up my spine and through my stomach. Hearing that Damion was just as worried about being separated from me as I was from him makes me feel a little less alone in this sea of crazy feelings. It makes the achingly empty feeling in gut feel a little less heavy.

We leave the dining hall and make our way back towards where our rooms are. There's a restless sparking energy shimmering through me after my time in the pools and I don't think I have it in me to go back indoors. The thought of laying around when I could be up and moving- out taking advantage of the new energy dancing through my veins - feels abhorrent to me. So when we come across the gardens that I'd spotted outside Damion's bedroom window last night, I turn expectantly to my guards.

"Can we go look around?" I ask, gesturing to the stony arch of the garden that feels like it's beckoning me to enter. The spark of life emanating from the gardens is like a siren's song to me, dragging me in.

Xavier slowly starts to shake his head, "We should really get you situated somewhere more easily defensible where you can rest-" he protests.

"I don't need to rest," I rush to assure them, "I feel great. What I need is a distraction. And you said yourself just this morning that we're perfectly safe here"

Xavier still doesn't look convinced, still in full- protective- guard- mode apparently, "I don't know"

I cut him off with a jokingly wide eyed and pleading look that I cut between the two of them, even going so far as to poke out my bottom lip in a pout.

Arden snorts under her breath at my dramatics, "Oh, alright. Let's do it. It's not every day we get to go look around elven gardens."

I grin widely, "That was my thinking exactly." I loop my arms through both of theirs steering them into the arching entrance of the gardens.

Xavier grumbles under his breath- something about it being safer behind locked doors, then says louder, "Are we sure that you're part elf? Because I could swear you have the tongue of a serpent."

Arden laughs, but I ignore his grousing to peer around us.

The gardens are just as lush and striking as I had imagined they would be from the single glance I'd had from Damion's room the other night. A rolling stream rolls through the center of the rows of flowers and herbs. Aside from the overflowing greenery, there's also a variety of wildlife that I hadn't been expecting rooting around us. Riots of butterflies and gorgeous birds in every shade imaginable, deer, and even a few wild horses grazing off outside the gate.

There's a pang in my chest when I remember that Damion had promised we would explore these gardens together that night in his room, my chest throbbing emptily at the reminder that he's not here with me. I shove those thoughts to the side and force myself to inspect the wild beauty flowing around us as we enter through the garden's archway.

I'm trying so hard to keep my thoughts from drifting back to Damion and worrying over if he's okay to ignore the dull aching that had started back up in my chest that I don't notice the way the guards on either side of me have gone completely stiff.

I turn, following their gazes to see what had them reacting that way and when I do, my own heart skips a beat in shock.

Because we're standing face to face with the largest white wolf I've ever seen. And his dark eyes are focused right on me.