Chapter 58

"You believe that.your son was my father?" I repeat back his words, my mind spinning and going blank at the same time.

Elandorr nods, a seriousness that hadn't been there before now overtaking his smooth face making me know that he's not making some sort of joke. Neither of us knows what to say for a long quiet moment.

Thankfully Arden steps in after a moment, "What is it that makes you believe that, elder Elandorr?" She asks him in a low voice, shooting me a worried look from the corner of her eye.

My mind is still spinning as Elandorr explains how his son had spent time among the Seelie Fae-how he had gone there to attempt peace between their people after the war. He'd stayed at the Seelie palace with a few other elves attempting to put together a treaty together, though they were ultimately unsuccessful. His son-Calden-had sent him letters while away explaining how he had fallen in love with a fae woman there.

Marion Montegard. My mother.

The fact that I have elf blood - proven by the fact that I had been able to use my blood to enter through Elfhame's wall - had been reason enough for me to realize that something like this had happened, that one of my parents wasn't who I'd thought. But hearing all of this firsthand was still a lot for me to process.

There was certainly no love lost between my father- King Tarquin and I. He'd never given me any real reason to believe that he cared about me, not in the way he cared about my sister Lucia. The fact that he'd sold me off for a treaty with the Unseelie court was evidence enough of that fact.

I can't help but wonder if the man who I'd always considered my father had known. Had he been aware of what was happening between my mother and Calden? And what had happened to them afterward? Does *Lucia* know?

Even though I'm grateful to Elandorr for explaining everything to me, I'd been under the assumption that when I had finally found answers to who my parents were that it would tie up some loose ends for me.

Elandorr is kind enough to offer me the letters he had from Calden and even a few of his journals so I could read them and learn more about the man my father had been. I take them gratefully, promising to return them to him once I have the opportunity to read them, though for a reason I can't understand, something makes me hesitate to delve into them right away.

I can't help but wish that Damion were here so I could talk through it with him.

Elandorr's words echo through me on repeat as Xavier and Arden lead me back to my room for the evening. And they continue echoing in my head I can't seem to get them to stop.

___________________________________________________

The following days pass in a similar way as that first day does.

All my time is a blur of spending increasingly longer stints in the springs absorbing as much power as I can into my body. I find that I'm getting progressively stronger day after day. I'm thrilled at how easily I'm able to move around now- the strength that's slowly building in my muscles, the way I don't need to stop for breaks when I walk as I'm used to. That I no longer need to rest in bed for days at a time.

Arden and Xavier hover over me constantly, shoving food at me at dinner in attempts to sate the nearly constant hunger that's become my constant companion as I heal. I feel like I'm always *starving* and even though I eat until I'm stuffed at meal times, I always end up hungry again in a few short hours.

I also find that as the days pass that there's a healthier rosy glow in my skin and my long white hair shines in softer waves than it had before. There's a new soft curve in my breasts and hips that hadn't been there before that I attribute to being able to keep food down consistently over the past week and my time reconnecting to my power. As I slowly get healthier by the day, I'm also filled to the brim with a restless energy that I can't seem to shake off.

The elders set us up with a few elves to take us on tours around the city every afternoon. They show us every inch of Elfhame, peppering me with information about their people and their history- *my* people and history too now I suppose- and everything in between.

Traveling around and exploring the city with Xavier and Arden is like one of my oldest dreams coming true. Adventure and magic and excitement. When I'd been trapped in my rooms in the Seelie court, unable to leave my bed, I'd used to daydream about being able to live like this and I soak in every second for the wonder that it truly is.

Yet, for some reason, no matter how busy I manage to stay during the day, I can't hide from the fact that there's a constant nagging emptiness at the center of my chest that even dulled by my time in the springs, continues to spread. That dull throbbing ache that elder Aelrie had referred to as *withdrawals*.

Her words echo in my head as I toss and turn at night, unable to sleep, *"It's better if you don't separate for too long if you can help it. There's nothing that the shifter in a Bonded pair can do in order to stave off the withdrawal symptoms aside from reconnecting with their Bonded partner. The separation will only grow more painful for you both the longer you're apart. *

Every day we don't hear from Damion, I find that I get more and more anxious. Arden and Xavier continue to assure me that there's nothing to worry about, that it's to be expected even, but that doesn't stop the ragged and fractured center of my chest from aching to run to him.

No matter how much I try to wear myself out during the day, constantly staying busy to distract myself from Damion's continued silence, I've found that I can't escape my body's need for Damion in my sleep. Every night without fail, I startle awake in the middle of the night, surrounded by darkness - aching and desperate for his touch, my blood overheating in my veins at the memory of his lips trailing over my skin. The lingering memory of his taste and scent haunt me, leaving a pulsing clenching ache between my thighs in their wake that nothing can satisfy.

The short time we'd spent together has ruined me.

But on the tenth day, we finally - *finally* - receive a letter.

Though, it's not from Damion like I expect. The letter we get is from, Leif, Damion's second in command