Chapter 38

The tiny slip of a princess is tucked into her bed, her already pale skin whiter than I've ever seen it. And though she tries to hide it, she obviously feels much worse than she's letting on. Xavier and I noticed it yesterday when we'd forced her to rest. And while we hoped it would be something that she'd sleep off like the last time we'd seen her ill like this, it seems like the fever is getting worse.

Xavier and I stop in frequently to check in on her, and this morning when we find her large silvery eyes open and focused on us. When she sees us standing in the door way of her room, her face lights up with the most genuine fucking smile I've ever seen. The kind of authentic happiness that makes me want to put off all my other duties just to bask in that warmth.

She doesn't have much to do, so Xavier pulls out a deck of playing cards from his pocket and we divvy out hands. I want to keep things light for her, to keep her mind off of her illness, but our worry for her is like a dark cloud hanging over our heads. I share some random gossip with her about how the the mischief one of our fellow soldiers had gotten into recently with one of the cooks downstairs, and she eats it up.

The woman is a bright light around here. As much as I wanted to deny it at first, I'd only be lying to myself if I said that her antics and teasing nature didn't put me in a better mood even on my worst days. Shifters admire strength, and seeing the way she quietly preservers through her pain, attempting to hide it as she does, is commendable.

From the way she joked with me and Xavier while we'd been searching her room while she'd been chained to the bed. She's a fucking ray of sunshine -better yet, a North Star shining through the darkness-that I refuse to let dim.

We do our best to pretend that everything is fine until her nose starts bleeding.

The blood comes out of no where, dripping onto the cards in her hand. She stares, shocked at the scarlet drops on her fingertips, like she can barely believing what she's seeing.

The sight has me cursing loudly and when Xavier glances up from his cards to see what the matter is his face turns pale as the blood leeches from his deep umber skin as his mouth forms a tight line. The last time her nose had bled like this had been in the dungeons- before we'd known about her illness and she hadn't been taking her medicine. If she's as ill as she was that day *while* taking her medicine I don't even want to think about that.

For a frozen moment, all any of us can do is blink down at the blood. I try to school my features into some semblance of calm, but I know that the horror I'm trying so hard to hide is painted all over my face.

"This shouldn't be happening. Why is this happening?" She mumbles in a flat voice, "I don't understand."

"Lily?" I say, trying to keep my voice calm, "Are you alright?"

Xavier hurriedly stands from his chair, "I'm going to find Healer Orm," he says.

"*Hurry* Xavier," I urge him in a hiss. I rush across the princess's room to the adjoining bathing chamber, trying to keep my hands from shaking, I hurry back to her side with a warm damp cloth and dab at the blood under my nose, trying to be as gentle as possible.

"Here," I say in my most coaxing voice, "why don't you lay down."

She does as I ask without fighting, "This shouldn't be happening," she says in a slurred voice, confusion marring her flushed face.

My hand pauses where I'm dabbing at the blood up where it dripped down her neck, "The nose bleed you mean?"

"I've been taking my medicine. It's supposed to stop this from happening."

"It's going to be okay," I say trying to convince myself as much as her, "Xavier went to a Healer. You're going to be fine."

She stares as me unconvinced, a flash of panic crossing her silver eyes. Something that feels like a boulder settles in my stomach, as dread drifts through me.

She loses consciousness before Xavier returns.

_____________________________________________

I've never seen the Commander like this.

A wild, untamable, frenetic energy pours off of him in waves. He looks like he's one wrong look away from completely losing his fucking shit on someone. Gods, I *really* hope that someone doesn't end up being me.

There's a tension in him voice that resounds like a bowstring tugged too tightly. He came storming into the princess's room not long after Xavier returned with healer Orm. Xavier and I stepped out into the hallway to give them some privacy, but we don't go far.

We stand just outside her door to be close enough in case anyone needs something. I feel so useless right now- a part of me hopes that someone *anyone* will peek out into the hallway and give me a task to keep my hands busy enough I forget the hopelessness clawing my gut ragged.

The King and Orm had been talking quietly enough that we couldn't overhear their conversation until now-

"Traveling with her in this condition could prove to do more damage to her if this doesn't work," the Commander growls, "So I need to know you're sure, Orm, or else you're going to have to search for another solution."

*Travelling?* With the Princess? *Now?*

There's no fucking way- she can't even stay conscious. It would *kill* her.

"There *is* no other solution." Healer Orm, says, "Of that I am certain."

I twist my head sharing an anxious look with Xavier.

"Is he *fucking* insane?" I hiss under my breath.

Xavier's face is tight with tension, and he shrugs helplessly.

"Whatever you decide," Orm tells him in a low voice, "you need to do it quickly."

There's a long drawn out pause, the air riddled with the sort of tension you could cut through with a knife.

Finally, the Commander's voice calls out, louder than before, so he's sure to hear him, "Xavier."

The door creaks as Xavier opens it to step into the princess's room, "I need you to make preparations for us to travel north. We'll be leaving within the hour. Wake Leif and inform him as well."

"Yes, Commander." Xavier says, and pulls the door shut behind himself.

"Travel north where?" I hiss under my breath to Xavier, but he just shakes his head, running off without another word to follow the Commander's orders.

"I'll prepare something to help keep her asleep while you travel," Orm says, pulling open the door, "It's imperative that she conserve as much energy as possible until you reach Elfhame."

The healer meets my eyes for a single moment when he steps out into the hallway before hurrying away.

Elfhame? That's where they're taking her? But to what end? Why?

I know that I'll do whatever it takes to get her well again. To get my friend back. In a split second decision, I hurry off to pack my own bags. Because no matter what the Commander thinks is going to happen, I'm going to be going with them. And I won't be taking no for an answer.