Chapter 64

I sigh wearily when the silence eventually descends upon us and say, "Jack. I don't think I can handle this much longer."

Jack examines me with a sympathetic softening of his normally composed eyes. He has supported me during the many late hours, as well as the turbulence and uncertainty that have characterized this phase of my life. He guides me to the elevator while nodding slowly and keeping his hands in his pockets.

"I understand, Emily," he says steadily. "But you have to keep your guard up. This will be over. It will, but it may take some time."

Even though his words only make me feel better, I force a little smile and nod. "You say that to me all the time."

"Because it's true," he responds in a softer tone than I had anticipated. "Look, I've seen you handle a lot. You're resilient. You'll overcome this as well."

The nighttime air seems refreshing as we step outside after spending so many stressful hours indoors. He immediately looks about for any indication of trouble, his eyes keen. He's constantly looking, always ready, and on high alert even here.

"Jack, are you ever not looking over your shoulder?" With a faint giggle creeping through my fatigue, I inquire.

"It's a habit," he replies, grinning slightly. "One I've learned to maintain, particularly in your presence." He opens my car door and motions for me to get inside. "Emily, you have a lot at stake. Just be mindful."

I say softly, "I know," and for a brief time, his expression relaxes and his eyes show a glimmer of understanding.

After I'm inside, he taps the roof softly and then backs off, closing the door. He stands there, a shield against the chilly night air of the city, and I watch him through the window until I leave.

The weight of the day weighs heavily on me, making the drive home seem longer than usual. With every thought flowing through my head like sand through my fingers, I can hardly keep my attention on the road. By the time I pull into the driveway, I feel like I'm moving on autopilot.

I step inside, kick off my heels, and almost stumble forward, catching myself against the wall. I just need my bed, some quiet, and a break from this never-ending stress. However, I'm startled by the sound of footsteps, and when I look up, I see Sophie standing there leaning against the living room doorframe with her arms crossed.

"Long day?" she asks, her expression a mix of concern and amusement.

I respond with a weary smile, "You could say that. Why are you up so late?"

Sophie gives a shrug. "I thought you might benefit from some company, maybe some distraction." She softly pulls me into the living room by reaching for my hand. "Please have a seat. I brought your favorite tea."

Now that I'm finally off my feet, I let her lead me to the couch, where I collapse as the fatigue hits me even more. I put my hands around the steaming mug Sophie hands me and enjoy the warmth.

"You know," I confess, looking down at the tea, "I can't even recall the last time I felt... normal."

"Well, normal is overrated anyway," she replies with a smirk. "Come on, tell me what's going through your mind."

I chuckled quietly. "I'm not even sure where to begin."

"Try me," she exhorts in a kind and supportive tone. "Emily, you used to tell me everything. Come on."

I look at the floor and shake my head. "Sophie, it's all just too much. Having to cope with Ethan, Jack, and the continual scrutiny that comes with being involved in all of this. This is not the life I signed up for. I feel like I'm drowning in it right now."

Her expression softens as she listens and watches me. "Em, I have no idea what you're going through. But you know I'm here, right? For whatever you need."

I try to smile as I nod. "I understand. It's just hard sometimes. You'd think you're prepared for something, but when you're actually living it" I ramble on, my voice wavering.

Sophie puts a reassuring touch on my shoulder and reaches over. "You're stronger than you think. I've witnessed it. Emily, you're not alone in this. There are those who are concerned about you and will defend you if necessary."

I nodded and sighed deeply. "Sometimes, I feel like I can't trust anyone, though. As if everyone has a personal agenda."

Sophie nods understandingly. "Look, I'm here, but I can't claim to understand what it's like. And I'm not going anywhere."

Even while her words are consoling, they feel like a light salve applied to a wound too deep to completely heal. I make an effort to calm myself by drinking my tea and allowing her presence to reassure me, but my thoughts keep going back to the day's events and the web of secrets and lies that now encircles my life.

Sophie silently observes me with understanding in her eyes. With a bright gleam in her eyes, she asks, "Want to watch a movie?"

I force a small smile. "Maybe another time. I think I just need to rest."

She nods without pressing. "All right. But you owe me a movie night soon. Promise?"

With a little smile pulling at the edges of my lips, I respond, "Promise." She gets up and gives me a final comforting pat on the shoulder before making her way to her room.

She whispers, "Emily, take care of yourself. And don't let them get to you."

I sit quietly in the room as she goes, drinking my tea and feeling the fatigue seeping into my bones. Sophie has good intentions, but it's difficult to get rid of the loneliness that comes with living this life. Everybody around me has a part to play in this complicated mess, and I feel like I'm in the middle of it all, not knowing who I can really trust.

I pull myself upstairs at last. As I get into bed, my head clouded by exhaustion, I change into something cozy. My body relaxes as soon as my head touches the pillow, releasing the strain from the day. However, the memories of the day-the meetings, Jack's cautions, and Ethan's reserved looks-continue to haunt me even after I close my eyes.

I move beneath the covers in an attempt to calm my thoughts and ignore the persistent anxieties. However, it's like attempting to contain a storm. Each of the thoughts that are circling me is pulling at my awareness and preventing me from sleeping.

I inhale deeply, then close my eyes and concentrate on my own breathing, allowing it to soothe me into a state of peace. The darkness envelops me like a cozy blanket as the room becomes silent.

Eventually, the exhaustion wins, and I feel myself slipping away, drifting into a deep, dreamless sleep.