Chapter 68

A terrible kind of quiet filled the hospital room. The kind of silence that makes your thoughts louder and more bothersome. While sitting in the corner chair that didn't fit right, I looked at the blank wall. Even though I moved my fingers around in my lap, the pain in my chest didn't go away.

It was all too much.

I always thought things couldn't get any worse, but life always proved me wrong. My mother, the one person who had always been there for me, was in a hospital bed fighting cancer. Ethan, my newfound half-brother, was up to his neck in secrets I didn't fully understand. What about me? It was so hard to keep everything together, but I felt like I was about to fall apart.

"Emily?"

Sophie's words caught me off guard, and when I turned around, she was standing at the doorway. She had her hand on the doorframe as if she wasn't sure if she should go in or not.

I tried to smile even though it felt hollow and weak. "Hi."

She walked in and carefully shut the door behind her. "I have looked everywhere for you. You just disappeared.

I gave her a shrug and said, "I needed some space."

Sophie took the chair beside me and looked at my face. I hated that I was the cause of her troubled face.

"You haven't spoken all day," she answered softly. "Even for you. What is happening?

I leaned back against the wall and sighed shakily. "What's not happening? I feel like I'm drowning in everything-my mom is ill, Ethan is... Ethan. Sophie, I can't catch my breath.

She put a hand on my arm and said, "You know, you don't have to do this alone." "You have me and, I suppose, Ethan as well, in his own peculiar manner."

I gave a sour laugh. "Ethan is the cause of my current predicament."

"That is unfair," Sophie scowled. He's also got a lot on his plate. Both of you are. However, that doesn't mean you have to bear it alone.

I averted my eyes as my throat constricted. "What am I going to do? Who will keep everything together if I don't? Ethan needs me. I'm wanted by my mom. Everybody is counting on me to make everything right.

"And who is supporting you?" Softly, Sophie asked.

I felt like I was punched in the stomach by the question. I had nothing to say.

I simply sighed as I gazed at the floor.

I was alone once more later that evening. I needed to get away from the oppressive weight of the hospital, so I walked down the hall into an empty room. Life went on as normal in the parking lot, which was visible from the window. Cars passed by, and people walked past carelessly.

I felt jealous of them.

Really, that was weird. I had been accustomed to being by myself for a long time. I didn't mind the loneliness of being the only child growing up. In a way, it was comforting. However, something inside of me shifted when I learned I had a family.

I reflected on Ethan. I couldn't bring myself to hate him in spite of everything, including the secrets and lies. If anything, I had an unfathomable want to protect him and be there for him no matter what. I was a part of him. My relatives.

But at what price?

When did I turn into this person?

I was so certain of who I was once. I strongly believed in doing the right thing and defending my convictions. Now, though? I was now compromising my values, lying to people I cared about, and concealing secrets.

What's the worst? I wasn't sure if I felt bad about it.

"Emily?"

Sophie was once more standing in the hallway with her arms folded across her chest when I turned around. She cocked her head, studying me with the same anxious gaze she had been sporting all day.

"Hey," I mumbled.

After approaching, she pulled out the chair across from me and took a seat. "Today, you've been thinking a lot."

"Is it my fault?"

She shook her head and answered, "No. But I can remind you that you don't have to do it alone."

With a sigh, I combed through my hair. "Sophie, I don't wish to exclude anyone. I simply don't know how to give them entry.

She took my hand in hers as she reached across the table. "Begin with me. Em, I'm here. Always.

For the first time that day, I felt a tiny crack in the armor I had put up around myself as her words struck a deep chord within me.

She told me she wanted a nap, so we walked out of the room together.

I went to join Margo. As I sat by my mother's bed, I considered Sophie's words.

I saw my mother, who was still very strong despite having a pale and worn-out face. I had always depended on her to keep me rooted, even in the face of adversity. It was now my job to back her with strength.

I also considered Ethan. He was stubborn and adamant about doing everything by himself. However, I was starting to see that we weren't all that different.

Perhaps that was the reason I bonded with him so strongly.

Or perhaps it was simply because I wasn't completely alone for the first time in my life.

In any case, I was certain that I couldn't continue in this way. There has to be a change.

However, I had no idea how.

I had no idea when morning would arrive, and Sophie found me again soon before sunrise, her eyes heavy with worry and her hair disheveled from sleep. She simply sat down next to me and gave me a cup of coffee without saying anything.

For a while, we sat quietly as the first rays of sunshine filtered through the slats.

I finally mumbled, "Thanks," in a voice that was almost audible above a whisper.

A tiny smile tugged at her lips as she looked at me. "For what purpose?"

"For being present. for tolerating my behavior.

Sophie chuckled quietly. "It sounds like a chore because of you. Emily, you are my best friend. Nothing is too much for me to do for you."

Something inside of me was moved by her words, a tiny glimmer of hope in the gloom that had been eating away at me.

Perhaps I wasn't as isolated as I thought.