Chapter 19

I stare out the window of the carriage for the better part of the morning, watching the scenery of Seelie's villages shift into the countryside. My father has never allowed me to travel much, and I find myself in awe of the lands that have surrounded me my entire life, yet are foreign to me. A small thrill goes through me at seeing this small sliver of our world, even if it is under less-than-ideal circumstances. Held captive by the scenery the way that I am, the time passes quickly.

Despite my attempts to stave it off this morning, the fever I felt prickling under my skin earlier begins to rear its head again. I don't mean to fall asleep, but I'm so exhausted from my lack of sleep the night before that I unintentionally drift into a restless, exhausted sleep.

I don't know how long I'm out for, but I'm jolted awake by the sound of a soldier's rasping voice outside the carriage. He's talking low, but he's close enough that it's easy to make out his guttural words as my mind gradually clears.

"-you have to admit that she's relatively easy on the eyes."

"Nice tits, full lipsyou won't hear any complaints from me." Another says, followed by appreciative chuckles from the surrounding males.

"For a *Seelie*, anyway," a different soldier concedes, "-if you can look past all the *white*."

A chill tingles up my spine, alarm and dread turning my muscles rigid as I realize they're talking about *me*.

"Do you believe *all* her hair is that white?" One of them asks, the insinuation clear in his voice. Acid claws through my stomach, up my throat.

"Only one way to find out." Another Unseelie guard snickers out, suggestively.

"That's Prince Fenrick's bride you're talking about-"

"They're not married *yet*." The guard reminds him in a low voice.

"All of you, back into formation," The ambassador, Pieter's, thickly accented voice commands. The surrounding soldiers grunt in acknowledgment, falling back with the clopping of horse's hooves, followed only by the quiet clicking of the carriage wheels sliding over stone.

A coldness settles in my veins, and nausea turns over in my stomach. The reality of my situation takes hold of me. How truly and utterly alone I am among these Unseelie soldiers. I'd been so focused on the impending marriage hanging over my head that the vulnerability of my situation while traveling never crossed my mind.

The sudden awareness of that fact is like a punch to the gut. A hard knot constricting in my throat making it hard to breathe. I re-check that the dagger Lucia gave me is still tucked into my boot. I have next to no experience with any sort of blade, but just knowing that it's there gives me a small level of comfort.

A few hours later, the carriage and horses stopped for the first time since we left the palace this morning. Probably to water the horses and give those traveling on horseback time to stretch their legs. After overhearing the soldiers talking amongst themselves earlier, I had planned to stay locked in the carriage until we arrived at the Unseelie palace. But as my fever continues to progress, with a sense of dread, I realize I'm going to have to at least get out of the carriage to get my medicine from the trunks strapped to the back. I briefly weigh the risk of getting ill and losing awareness against the anxiety of facing the soldiers outside and realize that unless I want to show up to the Unseelie Court with the ability to walk and with a clear mind, I'm going to need to get to my bags.

When I recognize the Ambassador's voice outside the carriage, I bolster up my courage enough to open the door and slip out.

The soldiers are getting things put together for the horses and a few heads turn in my direction as I step carefully down from the carriage. The green-tinged ambassador, Pieter, turns to face me, his bug-like eyes narrowing as I step out.

I open my mouth to explain that I'm going to grab my medicine, and it'll only be a moment, but before I even get a single word out, Pieter strikes me hard across the face. His meaty hand cracks across my cheek with enough force that it leaves my ears ringing. Stars and black spots dance across my vision and I try to blink away with my shock.

It's been a long time since I've been hit like that and I'm stunned enough that all I can do is stare at him, reeling. The metallic taste of blood saturates my tongue from where the sharp edge of the ring on his thick finger connected with my lip.

"You do not speak without being spoken to. And if you exit the carriage without permission again I'll snap your arm in half. Is that understood?"

In my shock, all I can do is nod.

I don't know what angers the large male a second time, but his insect-like eyes narrow in a glare followed by the crack of his meaty fist against my face again. It surprises me just as much as it had the first time, and I stumble back into the side of the carriage, ears ringing with the intensity of the blow.

"Are you deaf or just plain stupid? Get your ass back into the carriage before I get my blade."

There's the sound of low snickering from the soldiers behind me as, with shaking legs, I spin on my feet to hurriedly pull myself back through the carriage doors.

"Fuck, won't the prince will be mad when his new toy arrives allbattered up?" One of the soldiers murmur.

Another man grunts out a laugh, "I don't think he'll care, as long as the more enjoyable parts remain intact."

"Unless you want similar blows to your faces," Pieter hollers, "I suggest you shut the hell up. Let's move out."

With the carriage door shut firmly behind me, I collapse into the carriage seat just as the carriage jostles forward again. Shoving back the fiery tears stinging at my eyes, I clench my teeth together tightly, focusing on breathing. Just breathing. In and out. In and out.

*You will not break down, Lily. You will* not. It's not like you haven't been hit before. You're going to be fine. *It's fine*.

When I finally get a tenuous grasp on my frayed emotions, I bring a hand to my face. Gingerly, I slide my fingers over the hot, swollen parts of my skin, assessing the damage. The part of my cheek just below my right eye is swollen enough that it's starting to block off some of my vision. Even without being able to see it, I know it's going to bruise. And badly.

Using a strip of my dress that's not easily visible, I dab up the blood dripping down my lip as best as I can. Still, there's a handful of red streaks on the neckline of my dress that seep in before I can wipe them away.

*"Don't give up, Lily. Swear to me that you're not going to give up. You're going to make it through this."*

Lucia's words ring in my head over and over as the carriage rumbles on. She must have had a better understanding of what I was getting myself into than I had. Because if even the soldiers aren't concerned about lifting a hand to me, there's no telling what's waiting for me in the Unseelie Court. A sick churning in my stomach tells me that this little display by the soldiers outside has just been the tip of the iceberg for what awaits me there.

One realization pushes itself to the surface, circling just as incessantly as Lucia's last words to me do. I can not let myself be married into the Unseelie Court. If I want to live, then I need to find a way out of here and quickly.