Chapter 38

Damion must have left some time after I fell asleep, because the chair by my bed is empty when I wake in the morning. The book he had read to me last night was placed next to my bed along with a few other books he must have pulled off the shelf for me.

I had expected for the fever to leave during the night like it usually does while I rest. I'd slept enough yesterday and then through the night- enough for it to have fallen off while I slept. Yet, when I crack my eyes open in the morning, I look around with dry eyes still feeling the telltale ache in my bones that let me know that the fever is still there.

When I sit up, I find my little blue bottle of medicine on the bedside table and take two doses of it again. The bottle is still nearly full, because the Seelie apothecary had refilled my medicine when I was packing to leave for the Unseelie Court. Still, there's a small part of me that wonders what I'm going to do when the bottle eventually empties.

There's a glass of water near the bed and I drink it down quickly. It does little to stave off the heat and headache pounding through my skull or the nausea roiling through me. The nausea stage is the third stage and usually takes a little longer to come on than this. And when I'm consistent with my medicine it rarely gets this far if ever. I try not to let the fact that my illness has gotten this far while still taking my medicine.

It'll probably pass soon as long as I keep resting. I force myself to shove down the ball of worry that's gnawing in my gut-the worry that says that says I've always been on borrowed time and I'm finally approaching the burnout that the palace physicians have always warned about.

Mitra comes with breakfast-a simple porridge and berries, but I find that I can't stomach anything other than the warm tea she's brought. She watches on with a concerned twist of her mouth and goes to run water for a bath. Like yesterday, she hovers nearby, flitting around like a mother hen but today I don't have the energy to brush off her concern. I'm too focused on keeping the nausea at bay so I don't lose the tea I just drank all over the floors.

She helps me to the bath-her frail-looking shoulders much more sturdy and muscled than they appear beneath her cotton dresses. I shiver when my sweat soaked dress is tugged off over my head, but as soon as I step into the steaming water, the shivers abate. The lavender bath salts and hot water seep into my aching muscles while Mitra works the shampoos and oils into my hair, combing through it with gentle hands.

I must fall asleep, only waking up when the water's gone cold to Mitra's gentle taps on my shoulder. She helps me out of the water and dries me off with a towel. I don't even have the energy to be embarrassed that she's seeing me like this, just grateful that I have help.

In a clean night gown, I make it back to the bed to find she's changed out the sweat soaked sheets for a fresh set while I'd slept in the tub.

"Thank you, Mitra." I whisper hoarsely as she tucks me into bed.

She pushes me to drink another few sips of mint tea that help stifle the nausea and fall back to sleep.

Xavier and Arden stop by the next time I wake up. They sit with me for a while, offering to play cards. They do their best to keep up their usual easy banter with me, talking about how the library is coming back together and the mischief one of their fellow soldiers had gotten into recently with one of the cooks downstairs.

Under the joking I can see the tight, worried lines on their faces, can see the concerned glances they throw me when they think I'm not looking.

They do an admirable job of pretending until my nose starts bleeding.

It comes out of no where, dripping onto the cards in my hand. All I can do is stare at the scarlet drops on my fingertips, barely believing what I'm seeing.

Arden curses loudly when she sees it and when Xavier glances up from his cards to see what the matter is and sees the blood, his face turns pale as the blood leeches from his deep umber skin as his mouth forms a tight line.

All I can do is blink down at the blood, "This shouldn't be happening. Why is this happening?" I say in a flat voice, "I don't understand."

"Lily?" Arden says from right beside me, "Are you alright?"

With the blood rushing in my ears, I barely hear Xavier stand from his chair, "I'm going to find Healer Orm," he says.

"*Hurry* Xavier," Arden urges him in a hiss. Her footsteps cross the room to the adjoining bathing chamber and when she returns, she runs warm damp cloth over my hands before dabbing at the blood under my nose.

"Here, why don't you lay down."

I do as she asks as my shocked scrambled thoughts flurry through my head, "This shouldn't be happening." I say in a slurred voice without really meaning to.

Arden pauses where she's dabbing at the blood on my neck, "The nose bleed you mean?"

"I've been taking my medicine. It's supposed to stop this from happening."

"It's going to be okay. Xavier went to a Healer. You're going to be fine." It sounds like she's trying to convince herself as much as me.

I really hope she's right. But there's something about this fever that's different than the others. It's moving faster. It's different than what I'm used to. Something that feels like a boulder settles in my stomach, as dread drifts through me.

This shouldn't be happening. It's like my medicine has stopped working.

I try to keep conscious for when Xavier returns with the Healer, but I lose consciousness before they return sinking into a feverish black fog.